Gettin into Photoshop....

Hey peeps,
For people who do come to this page once in a blue moon. they mite as well remember that i started using photoshop. well, i uploaded the images that iv made so far to a site called Flickr and ill continue to upload the pics as i make them. check em out and leave ur comments, what you think about em. i just started so lemme kno if u like em....

Pariah's WorkShop
(Click)

MsgPlus...

I recently went to the mess.be website and found out this web contest they're having. click on it and you'll find out.
Its if u download the new msgplus 3.5 you get to have a chance to win some free stuff... so go ahead and try your luck.
later....

Advice....

PriZm and Psypher, are friends of mine who got me into photoshop. I was really impressed to see all the crap that they cud get outta photoshop. so i recently tried my hand at it. i enjoyed making it... didnt take that much time either... anyway.... the words are provided courtesy of my friend Madiha... a person who spends most of her time in front of the telly and gets to give me a range of advice straight from the tube.. lol... khiar, i was going through one of my rough patches and she told me this. it struck a chord so i thought id put it into the first image i made in photoshop. enjoy.....

Thoughts....

Gravedigger... when you dig my grave... could you make it shallow... so that i can feel....... the rain...

This songs been going on in my mind lately..... iv had some wierd days lately...
headache...
need some medicine...
but does it matter?
the pills dont make the hurt go away...
friends and family helps....
but to a certain point... then the line between comfort and confusion becomes hazy...
i like talking to myself too.
i need to sleep.
i need a cat to pet... the purring helps. but the frikkin hair ekh! cant stand it....
need to get on a treadmill too...
lifes getting complicated as seconds tick along.

and then nite comes along.

im making no sense i know. but thats the way i feel at the moment.

confused and out of touch with reality.

Always.....

Eventhough i got to realize it first hand i hadnt really thought about it. But when my cousin told me, it struck me like a magnum load right between the eyes.

"Always does not always mean always"

If i had kept this in mind i would have avoided a lot of hurt and sorrow. but i guess thats life. you get to learn on every corner no matter what it may be.

thats all for now... and oh yea... its my birthday today.... whoop-de-doo....

Comments

i would suggest that all you peeps who even bother reading the crap that i tends to flow from my brain, should atleast write what they think about it!! post ur bloody comments people!!! =P
hahaha

bleah?

damn....... organizing thoughts is a chore in itself.... iv been thinking of what to write, there have been so many random thoughts going on in my head that i thought itll be a piece of cake writing them down. But now that iv come to actually write them down... i cant think of what to write!!! ahhh!! indecisiveness is a bitch!!! =P.
anyway, whats wierd is that the best ideas and thoughts i get are in the shower. Thats because i take a shower early morning everyday. The head is clear and im in a sort of semi-limbo state. takes me a while to actually get up and get a hold of my bearings. Or when i walk to the bus stop... thats also a good time to get some thinking done. Some people tend to do their thinking right before the go to sleep, but for me the end of the day is so tiring that i cant think of anything. I just plop into bed and go to sleep almost right away. Sometimes i just lay in bed, totally blank. i try to look back on my day and kind of reflect upon the happenings of that particular day but then i just cant think of anything. its just the darkness and me. i even get paranoid sometimes and start hearing noises, which may or may not exist. I even go into this state of semi sleep where im aware of my surroundings but im asleep. i mix dreams with reality and thats not actually very pretty. i cant move i just think and mix it with the surroundings. it gets freaky sometimes.
i usually dont have dreams when i go to sleep. its funny if u think that i dont have dreams , as in dreams in life... hehe... but i do have nightmares... freakishly disturbing dreams. but the funny thing is usually i kno its a dream but i still get freaked out. oh well... thats me....
whats the point in dreams by the way? are they supposed to really exist? do they mean anything? i dunno... i guess they're just like entertainment for when the lights go out and you rest. but what cause nightmares then? did your body decide that it would tune into some horror movie for the night? hmmm? lol...

well thats all for now.... ill write some more when i can actually decide what to write about....
later....

Consequences...

Photo by: Abbas, Feb 16th 2005. "After the Rain Falls"

Like Mohsin Hamid said in his book, "people just dont believe in consequences anymore". i guess thats true. people tend to just go about their selfish ways. not thinking how a course of action is going to directly or indirectly affect the people involved. i guess you kinda learn how to deal with it by first

• experiencing something that makes you realize that people do selfish things
• and then you tune urself to expect that they would be selfish so you learn to cope with it.

Well, people will be people and you gotta live with em. their actions may change the way you know life or the way you were used to things but you do have to live with it. thats what iv done, learnt to adjust.

"Why?"

there are times when i just cant stand it anymore. its just one of those emo days i guess. everything seems to be going the wrong way, nothing seems to be going according to plan, friends feel like strangers and parents seem to be against you. what is one to do? i still cant figure it out.

Standing next to the window in my room i look out. look at all the people just going about, doing thier business, sorting out all the shit that goes down in their life according to their own understanding. then i think, what am i so worried about? things will change... but theres one thing that you just cant ignore and thats "why"... why did this shit have to happen? why did it have to go this way? why couldnt have things been the same? why didnt things get better? why is everythign going the wrong way, down? why am i feeling so crappy? why? and the question remains in ur mind..... eating away all the braincells that furiously chug away making electrical connections with countless neurons, exchanging information that leads to some sort of response.

but the real question is... why is there ever a why? why cant a why be a why not? i guess there are somethings that cant be answered cause they're not supposed to be answered. theres no single answer to all of this. is it cause ur supposed to learn from all the crap that happens and that u eventually find out the reason? i think not. a friend of mine likes to believe that the only reason to all of this is "Fate" but is that a reasonable answer? i mean... can you just leave it all to fate? ill give the same example here that i gave to her, can you just cross a street without looking left and right leaving it to fate to get you to the other side?.... i think not. but now that i think about it. its just not about fate.... its about "Faith". i guess you just gotta have faith in the big guy up there that what ever hes got in store for you, its for the better. i guess thats why iv come to term with the shit that happens in my life. i guess i try to believe that its all got a greater purpose and that i will actually learn something from it.

I chose door number 2. the way out. but like every door, a way out from something eventually becomes a way in to something else. so heres hoping that i end up somewhere that im actually comfortable with......