bleah?

damn....... organizing thoughts is a chore in itself.... iv been thinking of what to write, there have been so many random thoughts going on in my head that i thought itll be a piece of cake writing them down. But now that iv come to actually write them down... i cant think of what to write!!! ahhh!! indecisiveness is a bitch!!! =P.
anyway, whats wierd is that the best ideas and thoughts i get are in the shower. Thats because i take a shower early morning everyday. The head is clear and im in a sort of semi-limbo state. takes me a while to actually get up and get a hold of my bearings. Or when i walk to the bus stop... thats also a good time to get some thinking done. Some people tend to do their thinking right before the go to sleep, but for me the end of the day is so tiring that i cant think of anything. I just plop into bed and go to sleep almost right away. Sometimes i just lay in bed, totally blank. i try to look back on my day and kind of reflect upon the happenings of that particular day but then i just cant think of anything. its just the darkness and me. i even get paranoid sometimes and start hearing noises, which may or may not exist. I even go into this state of semi sleep where im aware of my surroundings but im asleep. i mix dreams with reality and thats not actually very pretty. i cant move i just think and mix it with the surroundings. it gets freaky sometimes.
i usually dont have dreams when i go to sleep. its funny if u think that i dont have dreams , as in dreams in life... hehe... but i do have nightmares... freakishly disturbing dreams. but the funny thing is usually i kno its a dream but i still get freaked out. oh well... thats me....
whats the point in dreams by the way? are they supposed to really exist? do they mean anything? i dunno... i guess they're just like entertainment for when the lights go out and you rest. but what cause nightmares then? did your body decide that it would tune into some horror movie for the night? hmmm? lol...

well thats all for now.... ill write some more when i can actually decide what to write about....
later....